Friday, July 28, 2006

Pastor Fred

I lost a friend today. He was the one man who I thought knew God the best of anyone I had crossed paths with in this life. He lived what he knew to be the Truth. He and his wife were the vessels who led me into a deeper walk with the Lord Jesus. They were the ones in which I first saw Jesus living in and through. They were examples of the light that is life in Christ. Never underestimate how powerful the light that is Christ in you and through you, and how it affects those around you. This man could direct me to the place I needed to go, whether it was in the Scriptures, or to the Presence of God in prayer. Prayer! He was a most faithful prayer warrior. He prayed daily for my husband, for my kids and for me....I learned from him. He talked with confidence to Father and his discernment was evidence of his close walk in the Spirit. The reality of Jesus in his life was truly evidenced in this man and this couple, and they stood strong throughout their very long lives of faith. They directed anyone who came into their lives with loving concern and prayer to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That life and how that looked was always up for discussion and what a sweet fellowship was offered by this couple. They loved each other and others with the love of God...and God being Love extended Himself through them to others. Pastor Fred spoke to me very clearly one day on the story of Lazurus and the rich man who found themselves on opposite sides of the great chasm....found in Luke 16 and the concern of the rich man first for himself and the unquenchable thirst he had and when this could not be abated after physical death then for the eternal welfare for his family....something he never would be able to direct them to from his grave. Fred had tears when he shared this with me one day....this man had a heart for God and he wanted others to come to first, salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ but then he desired for others to come to know, really know life, and to share this openly with others that they might come, just as they are, to that same place. His humour, his wisdom, his smile, his sensitivity to the Spirit and to others...just a few things, I will miss. He was a man of God. He loved and was loved deeply. I will hold on to the hope of seeing him again, embracing this child of God, no longer racked by pain, no more tears flowing, as he embraces this child of God that was so inspired by his witness to the life that is so full and complete in Christ.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

So there you have it!

Okay, so Gus...a friend of mine whose advice I like to hear sometimes....and it is really good sometimes too, told me that I can be as open or as closed as Father's Holy Spirit leads me to be....... sometimes baring the soul only leads to more pain....truthfully besides Jesus.....who do you trust with your life?
The past life is just that.....I have had enough hurt and rejection in my life ...not as much as some....maybe more than some....I just don't want to think on that anymore.....I am a new creation...I would so like to live as one!

If I sound a little...hmmm....miffed....I am not....just tired of this bus trip through old neighbourhoods and looking forward with great anticipation to where He takes me today.

Psalm 73 brought this home to me in a fresh light today!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The past in His light

I have had a time of searching out the past and have been blessed today by this portion of the devotional....provided today for His purpose for me. Testimony is unnecessary....see, I have never really given a "testimony" in any real manner....I struggle with the sharing of some of the more difficult periods....this devotion has comforted me today....where all of that the Lord has brought me to is all that matters...through the years...through the storms ....through the joys...this is where I am here today....standing in the presence of the Lord as He lives His life in and through me. He knows it all and provided Himself to help embrace each memory in light of what He has done in me, for His glory, alone. What a wondrous story, testimony it is when Jesus is shown as the impetus, the constant in all of it....bringing me here today. It is a long one (devotion that is), and sometimes it seems like this is a long life.... :) but definitely worth the read.

Deuteronomy 8:2 (KJV)
"And thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord they God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments or no.


Did you ever reflect that you are responsible for what you remember and for how you remember it, and that you are bound to train and educate your memory, not merely in the sense of cultivating it as a means of carrying intellectual treasures, but for a spiritual purpose? The one thing that all parts of our nature need is God and that is as true about our power of remembrance as it is about any other part of our being. The past is then hallowed, noble, and yields its highest results and most blessed fruits for us when we link it closely with Him, and see in it not only, nor so much, the play of our own faculties, whether we blame or approve ourselves, as rather see in it the great field in which God has brought Himself near to our experience, and has been regulating and shaping all that has befallen us. The one thing which will consecrate memory, deliver it from its errors and abuses, raise it to its highest and noblest power, is that it should be in touch with God, and that the past should be regarded by each of us as it is, in deed and in truth, one long period of what God has done for us.

We can see His presence more clearly when we look back over a long connected stretch of days, and when the excitement of feeling the agony or rapture has passed, than we could whilst they were hot, and life was all hurry and bustle. The men on the deck of a ship see the beauty of the city that they have left behind, better than when they were pressing through its narrow streets. And though the view from the far-off waters of the receding houses may be an illusion, our view of the past, if we see God brooding over it all, and working in it all, is no illusion. The meannesses are hidden, the narrow places are invisible, all the pain and suffering is quieted, and we are able to behold more truly than when we were in the midst of it, the bearing, the purpose, and the blessedness alike of our sorrows and of our joys.

Many of us are old enough to have had a great many mysteries of our early days cleared up. We have seen at least the beginnings of the harvest: which the ploughshare of sorrow and the winter winds were preparing for us, and for the rest we can trust.

Brethren, remember your mercies, remember your losses; and " for all the way by which the Lord our God has led us these many years in the wilderness," let us try to be thankful, including in our praises in the darkness and the storm as well as the light and the calm.

Some of us are like people who, when they get better of their sicknesses, grudge the doctor's bill. We forget the mercies as soon as they are past, because we only enjoyed the sensuous sweetness of them whilst it tickled our palate, and did not think, in the enjoyment of them, whose love it was that they spoke of to us. Sorrows and joys, bring them all in your thanksgivings, and "forget not the works of God."


Sunday, July 23, 2006

Luke 24:30-32

...."Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

July 23/ FROM - His Victorious Indwelling....hmmm

Of what value to Christ is outward service, if love be wanting? Of what value to the Bridegroom would the rigid observance of her duties be, if the bride were cold in her heart toward him? A church without heart, is a church without Christ.

Beloved, let us see well to this. Let nothing satisfy us short of the living realized presence of Christ within us. No ministry, however excellent, can supply the lack of this; neither will truth itself nourish the soul, unless the power of Him who is the Truth be present to minister it.

We need to exhort one another respecting this, for these are days when the itching ear is more common than the glowing heart, and the teacher is often more sought than the Lord. Thus Christ is as it were, often supplanted in His own house.

It is not difficult to discern the power of the Lord's presence in our meetings; the unlettered believer is as competent to ascertain this as the most instructed.

The two disciples on their way to Emmaus were very ignorant, but their hearts were occupied with the right object. Christ was the subject of their mutual intercourse as they journeyed on together. They loved Him, they had lost Him, and were sad. Soon He joined Himself to their company, because He knew that they were occupied with Him. His presence was felt, though they knew but little; and their hearts burned within them by the way. So shall we also find it to be the case, if our hearts are occupied with Christ and Him crucified; the presence of the Lord with us will be realized, and our souls will be filled rather with the blessedness of having been with Him, than with questions as to the ministry we may have heard.

We have also to remember, that in one sense we are always in the Church; it is not merely when we assemble together in the Lord's name, that we then form a part of the church of God; but in private, as well as public, we still belong to that body which the Lord has redeemed with His own blood, and consequently our whole life should have constant reference to our union with all the saints of God.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

All things are dung that draw me away from You, Jesus

You know truer words were never spoken...but Jesus is the Truth isn't He? Let me only be drawn to You, Jesus....

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Philippians 3:8-16 KJV

8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,

9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:

10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;

11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.

12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

16 Nevertheless, whereto we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us mind the same thing.

Philippians 3:8-16 The Message

7-9 The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I'm tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness.

10-11 I gave up all that inferior stuff so I could know Christ personally, experience his resurrection power, be a partner in his suffering, and go all the way with him to death itself. If there was any way to get in on the resurrection from the dead, I wanted to do it.
Focused on the Goal 12-14I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.

15-16 So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling.
Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens to us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life and you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was when everything fell we'd be held.

song by Nathalie Grant

Those tears...

Ok, So....I am so over this crazy crying over the drop of a hat...what is it all about?
Depression...nope, don't think so... it is something that is welling up from inside and I FEEL like an idiot. I know I am not an idiot, because yep, I know who I am in Christ and that is not one of the characteristics.... :) I truly do not understand how He can do the miracles and wonders within me that He does and yet He can't take this seemingly unending emotional rollercoaster ride through sorrow and sadness away from me....He may be taking me somewhere....but I don't know where and I am so totally not comfortable in this at all....stomp, stomp, stomp. So today, maybe He gave me something to cry about.... I hurt my big, I was not stomping then....and I really hurt it....ouch, ouch, ouch....and so least the tears have a reason for coming! I hope to post a picture of this hideous looking sore toe, (hey if walkingchurch can show dirty feet...I can show my painful and totally mutilated toe) prepare to be astonished!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006

My heart - Christ's heart?

2 Corinthians
Reading through this portion of the Word...makes me realize the ache that is His...He shares and reveals this by His Spirit so easily with me as I am listening and responding to His promptings.

It is with a truly open heart that I cry for those who struggle in this walk of faith, and who do not know You, Lord. You know each heart and it is You alone that will bring them to victory that is found only in You. It is You alone, that brings those who know You not, to Yourself. Why does this heart of mine feel so anguished by that, I wondered .... and You have gone and revealed to me why..... it feels as though it is breaking at times....because it is Your heart within me.... It is your heart for the hurting and the lost....thank You for Your tenderness, Lord....I don't know that I can continue to try to conceal the depth of emotion that comes from You (and maybe You are breaking something free from within me), but I will praise You in this.... for this crusted over and hardened heart is opening up and whew!!....only in Your strength will I make it through the next 5 minutes...let alone looking beyond that. It is a journey of awakening those concerns for others...concerns that now extend beyond myself to every person whose heart You know so well. It distresses my heart...that is the best way to say aches and groans within me, this feeling that they might miss the treasure that I have found in Christ alone. I give this over to with me what You will.

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Saturday, July 15, 2006

Psalm 34 (NIV)

Can you just see what this amazing Psalm speaks to us of....I love the part.."The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous (that's me), and His ears are attentive to their cry;" ... It just never fails to touch me in the most powerful way when I am immersed in His Word and all around and in me ... He is there... living, listening, speaking, all things He is there! How totally cool is that! It takes my breath away some days. It really does. Actually a good many of these verses today have just reminded me of how secure we are when we know the times both of ease and of hardship...His peace, His care for we blessed! The Lord spoke through this translation the best to me today....the Message, an interesting good it is to have the Word always at the ready on my desk. I pray for those today who do not have access to His Word that they may have hidden in their hearts His love letter to us. More importantly, that they might hear His Voice as He speaks to them right where they are. He does that .... He is God.

1 I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.

2 My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

3 Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

5 Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.

8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

9 Fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.

10 The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

11 Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD.

12 Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,

13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.

14 Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry;

16 the face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.

18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

19 A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;

20 he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.

21 Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned.

22 The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Friday, July 14, 2006

None Righteous

Romans 3:10-18

"There is none righteous, no, not one;
There is none who understands;
There is none who seeks after God.
They have all turned aside;
They have together become unprofitable;
There is none who does good, no, not one."
"Their throat is an open tomb;
With their tongues they have practiced deceit;"
"The poison of asps is under their lips;"
"Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness."
"Their feet are swift to shed blood;
Destruction and misery are in their ways;
And the way of peace they have not known."
"There is no fear of God before their eyes."

This would be total depravity.
However total depravity meets total grace.

What an AWESOME GOD we have, eh?


Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Psalm 84:11

For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
The LORD gives grace and glory;
No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.

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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Christ in me

Okay, so a lot going on again. My head is swimming and I am starting to FEEL overwhelmed. I know that there is joy in these circumstances today. To God be the Glory, great things He has done. In Christ the Solid Rock I stand....all other ground is sinking sand....all other ground is sinking sand. If you can't tell, I am trying to spur myself on. 'God is in the hard stuff'... 'Faith that does not Falter'....'Practice of the Presence of God' many books telling me what to much information.....I am just turning to the One...the Only One....the One Who is in me...the One Who makes me strong in my weakness....I am trying so hard to hear His Voice in these things....yep I know .... I said trying....I am working on that. I need to give Him all of it...give Him all the keys....(you know what I mean, eh?). I FEEL overwhelmed....I will not be overwhelmed....He is right here.

IN ME.... by Casting Crowns

If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world of Jesus saves
I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong Makes me strong
'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If you ask me to run
And carry your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satan's hand
I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong Makes me strong
'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
and to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory
'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
When I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me

Monday, July 10, 2006


John 1:1,14,17

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God ...And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.... For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ."

(Jesus was the perfect human image of grace, love and truth.)


Saturday, July 08, 2006


Isaiah 26:10

Though grace is shown to the wicked,
they do not learn righteousness;
even in a land of uprighteousness they go on doing evil
and regard not the majesty of the Lord.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Sean Dietrich

Just been listening to Sean Dietrich at this site. Check him out. He might even be a ....shhhhh grace guy! I love his thoughts on church and I know some of you out there....reading...might enjoy his website. A very fine site with some great free music and articles to enjoy.

He sent me a little hello a while back...and I just got around to listening. He has a beautiful voice and the guitar and the piano...oh let's just say everything in behind his voice must make Father smile. Thanks Sean brother, and for the free are a gem!

Anybody who loves Jim Cymbala, the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir and Keith Green....has got to be OK....Jesus loves you Sean and I in Christ and He in me ....loves you too!

picture courtesy of his awesome place to visit!


I know....I am on a endless stream of love posts. I can't help it. I feel loved. It is good.

Reading Romans 8 for the last week or so and just reviewing some of the Word,

that lets me know He is so much more Love than I can even imagine,

and it is melting this heart of mine. :)

call me beautiful

Call me beautiful by GinnyOwens

Ginny acknowledges that this song could have been written by anyone.
We all know what it is to have this longing - to be known and loved
and to be understood by just one person. To be accepted as we are.
No one can do this for us on this earth. We cannot do this for anyone else.
God is the One who created me and knows me best and knows all my flaws
and darkness and I now know that there is nothing that I can do
that will make that unmatchable love that He has for me ever go away.

I've been waiting, for a hero who's brave and strong.
Someone to love me, someone to tell me I belong.
So I pretend I'm satisfied, and I stand watching on the sidelines.
Til You pull me into the light and say,
"It's your turn now, welcome to your life!"
And You call me beautiful, say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul.
You call me beautiful.
There's a smile on my face, and a brand new light in my eyes,
It's a new day, And I've never felt so alive, I feel as if I could conquer anything,
That's what Your love has done for me, And now all I want to be,
Is everything You want me to be-
Oh, You call me beautiful, say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys
To unlock my soul, but I didn't know-
Now I can finally start to live, take those chances I have missed.
Things will be much different, now that I know You call me beautiful.
The story is better than I could dream after all,
Now this is reality
To know You
to hear You call me beautiful. Call me beautiful.
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed.
Things will be much different,
Now that I know, now that I know
You call me beautiful.


Grace ....

Psalm 45:2

You are fairer than the sons of men; Grace is poured upon Your lips; therefore God has blessed You forever.

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Victory Over the Darkness

I was reviewing this wonderful book today by Neil T. Anderson.

Some of his thoughts that touched me today.

We need to move beyond sharing information and start sharing our lives.

"Having thus a fond affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us." 1 Thess: 2:8

God loves you not because you are lovable, but because it is His nature to love you. God simply loves you - period, because God is love. Don't trust feelings that God doesn't love you. He loves all His children all the time, whether we do good or bad. That's the heart of God.

When the 99 sheep were safe in the fold, the heart of the shepherd was with the one that was lost. When the prodigal son squandered his life and inheritance, the heart of his father was with him and he lovingly welcomed his son home. These two parables reveal that God's heart is full of love for even when we are lost.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Be encouraged

The following text is from a book by Gary Chapman. It speaks to me about the things of my life and how easy it is to fall away from the very center of my faith. When I keep my focus on Jesus living His life in and through me and that with Him doing that in all circumstances, I become stronger in the resting in Him. Now, Chapman may not agree with all I say on that but he makes good points about not allowing our feelings (even if in ways they seem to be saying all the right things), to determine our day. One circumstance at a time, one day at a time, one moment at a time, with Him as our Life and our Guide makes every day a time to experience and to grow in Him, despite the tears, the shouts of frustration and the stuff that emotions are made of. I struggle daily in this area. Don't we all to some extent. He gives and takes away. Sometimes our circumstances are totally of our own doing. He knows that too. He is always aware of where we are in this life and how we got to where we are, and you know it, don't you? He loves us with that insurmountable, uncomprehensible, undying love that is Him .... so as I am encouraged by these thoughts today and every day.....may you also be.

"The future is intended to be the brightest portion of your life. Don't spoil it by allowing your feelings to pull you into a debilitating depression. Don't allow bitterness to consume your spirit. Don't destroy yourself with self-pity. Don't drive your friends away by constantly refusing their comfort or by playing your recording of gloom. The Bible is filled with examples of individuals who found their greatest success after experiencing tremendous failures.

You can follow the road of self-destruction and end up with an emotional breakdown. You can make your life miserable by making each day a rerun of the past. Or you can say with the psalmist, "This is the day which the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it."
(Psalm 118:24)

You may not be able to rejoice over the past or even over your present situation, but you can rejoice that God has given you the ability to use this day for good. When you do, you will be glad."

Sunday, July 02, 2006


You all are great. Thanks for today and letting Him touch me through you all. You know who you are! I love it when I see Jesus in others and feel Him moving in me! That is so totally cool.

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