Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Inward Journey

A piece of Gene Edward's work...."The Inward Journey".... a friend shared this piece with me but until you read it and ruminate on words fail me.

"You have asked, 'Why all this pain? What is its purpose? Why is it allowed?'" said Messenger, turning full round to face the young man. Uneasy and quite unsure of himself, as though he had caused some major problem with his question, Chris(tian) stumbled a reply.

"Yes, but they aren't entirely my questions. I'm taking this class...and ...." Christian stopped speaking; such words seemed absurd here. "I am confused, though," he added more realistically.

"Then let us move toward that light. There you will find and answer. Perhaps it will not be the answer to your....or their...questions. But you will find..."

Messenger paused and looked intently into young Christain's eyes. "We are at the edge. We are very near to beginning."

"Is that light...uh...beginning?"

"No. That is something before the beginning. Before angels, before the heavenlies, before all realms. Before man, earth, skies, time, and space. Before all. All, except suffering and pain."

"They are here? Before anything?"

"Before anything," said Messenger, his voice fading.

Messenger's steps had become slow and unsure. Just in front of them was a light, something like the glow a street lamp might make.

"You may go alone. I have no desire to see what is there...not twice," said Messenger in a voice almost cold.

"Just beyond the light, there is something else out there. Isn't there a boundary?" Chris asked.

"No, replied Messenger. "There is nothing else, nor can there be, until there is first that." Messenger pointed again in the direction of the light. "That must be before all things. That and pain, that and suffering were before even the beginnings .... nor could there have been anything..... unless ...." Messenger fell silent.

Cautiously, Christian moved forward. Plainly, there was something lying out there before him.

"Oh no. Oh no. No," cried Christian. "No, no, please no!" he cried again as he dropped to his knees.

Just before him, lying in a pool of blood, lay the cold, dead, and mangled form of a snow white lamb.


He was slain
Before the foundation
Of the world.

Monday, September 25, 2006

So not fair (in our eyes)

God's love is so not fair. It is so unreasonable....He offers grace and mercy to all ....despite how much or how little we have...... how guilty or innocent we clean or dirty we regimented or unregimented we ugly or how beautiful we sick or how healthy we desperate or detached we are..... how much or how little we have long or short we have listened to teachings about Him, ......we all have been loved by Him. Even those who never come to Him. He offers grace and mercy to all!

Ephesians 2:1-10

1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins,

2 in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience.

3 Among them we too all formerly lived inthe lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest.

4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us,

5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),

6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,

7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God;

9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.

10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.

Friday, September 22, 2006

The Woman at the well....thirsting for.....

Again, some thoughts on the Samaritan woman and how she hesitated with Jesus as He spoke to her. Maybe her assumption was that like so many men in her life, now and before .... He was invading her personal space for personal gain.....? What was it that He wanted with her? She 'knew' that there had to be ulterior motives.....and yet?

Jesus was not fooling her or looking at her with anything but love ..... He knew her world and all the lies and hurts and deceptions that it had held for her.....He was about to change everything for her...He knew there was a thirst in her (as is in each one of us)....He knew her life was meaningless and empty and sad as relationships she had with others had failed to satisfy. He was able to break through the coverings and hidden places and disclose her life to her as they discussed something so theological, if you and when to worship. Interesting eh? How this discussion, a safe place for her to hide in.....away from the horrible reality of her life and brought her to the place where she was able to open up her heart and have this encounter with Jesus. She 'knew' the Messiah was coming....she longed for that day....she longed for meaning in her life and an understanding of the circumstances around her. He was able to break through the discomfort she felt about herself and her life and reveal the Truth, the Life and the Hope to her.
As she waited .... for the her broken life...never, ever did she think or dream that He would come to her...right where she was... seeing her heart and showing her how to open it to the Messiah ...He loves us that much....and so much more.... He is right there....right now...inside and around....enveloping us in that love if we open ourselves up for Him...if we in some fashion 'see' Him as the door to Life itself. The Way to quenching the insatiable thirst within her....that was 'just' what He did and does for us ..... looks past the circumstances of our lives...and the outward appearances... and looks at our hearts and reveals to us just who we are in His His sight with His acceptance and love that is undefinable in this realm......Look at the Love that is Him and what it has done to me!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

From Thomas

"If thou knewest the whole Bible by heart, and the sayings of all the philosophers, what would it profit thee without the love of God and without grace?"

Thomas Kempis

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Love so truly un-understandable

The old laws were left at the foot of the cross.
Do we have new ones now?

Don't we all have our own laws. The shoulds of whatever role we have in this life, grandmother, grandfather, mom, dad, daughter, son, sister, brother, friend, follower of Christ.

We all probably have other laws. The unmentionable laws. Different, plentiful. The ones inside ourselves. Quiet thoughts and misthoughts, and desires, resentments and unspoken words that have a deep intensity in the dark places.....where no one sees...or hears. What we would like to be, in conflict with what is exhibited by ourselves. So we hide. Covering ....masking...smiling...even when we are dying inside. Even when we know who we really are in Christ....or do we? if we have these thoughts? I think so. I think we lapse into the darkness for instances, for moments, for minutes, for hours, for days, for weeks? Stay away from the intimacy of Father, ....or ignore Jesus as He speaks to you in your heart of hearts....or hesitate to follow the promptings of the Spirit.... stay away from the Word....what a very real darkness sets in then, yes?

When we hide .... are we living in rebellion? Against the love and grace of a Mighty God?

Yes, I guess, but you don't know what is inside have no idea of the secret places that are hidden.

Psalm 139:1-6

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up.
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down.
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.

Where does this love come after day....despite the knowing us?
It is only by Him that this can be somewhat understood in this earthly body.
The Love piece is the unmatched ultimate for me to grasp onto. I have struggled with this for a long time. He is Love....that is what He is. How He loves many ways and so perfectly and freely. It is unlimited and it is hard to my mind. But I have the mind of Christ and I still cannot hold onto this Love notion for very long. How? Why? Me? You have got to be kidding? And yet as often as I contemplate this Love that was there for me before the foundation of the world...I return to be amazed, to be spent, to be brought to my knees, to rise to praise this Love that the Father has given to me through the ultimate sacrifice, my Jesus ....imagine....for me!

Thank You Lord for Your patience as this works through me me.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

You Created, You complete...

Alas! How many souls there are full of self, and yet desirous of doing good and serving God, but in such a way as to suit themselves; who desire to impose rules upon God as to His manner of drawing them to Himself. They want to serve and posses Him, but they are not willing to be possessed by Him.

Francois Fenelon

Saturday, September 16, 2006

God in our Lives

These eyes are seeing things a little more clearly.

The desire of my heart is that the things I see are true and not skewed.

Are we experiencing the fullness of life that Jesus talked about?

Where is the fruit that should be there?

I will continue to abide. I do not want to wither.

If this One Thing is true....then what.

No more maybes.....He will flourish.....through this branch.

He impresses upon me .... unapologetically I submit.

I desire to experience His Presence in everything that comes before me each day.

If it be a desert around me....He will be the lush greenery I am displaying.

John 15

Friday, September 15, 2006

Building up the Body

Tried without success to communicate with my brother and due to whatever computer glitches there be....could not.

Prompted to just thank Jesus for this saint who walks the highways and byways of this Jesus Name, being the Church.....and inviting those of us....who can micro-manage our lives to join in and do just that the Church and minister to each other and be ministered to.

Wouldn't you know that I came across this passage.... :)

Oswald Chambers can say things that I have trouble reading let alone saying....

To all who are looking for God, Himself, with no agenda.

"Till we all come....unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ." Ephesians 4:13

"....We are not here to develop a spiritual life of our own, or to enjoy spiritual retirement; we are here so to realize Jesus Christ that the Body of Christ may be built up.

Am I building up the Body of Christ, or am I looking for my own personal development only? The essential thing is my personal relationship to Jesus Christ - "That I may know Him." To fulfill God's design means entire abandonment to Him. Whenever I want things for myself, the relationship is distorted. It will be a big humiliation to realize that I have not been concerned about realizing Jesus Christ, but only about realizing what He has done for me.

My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God.

Am I measuring my life by this standard or by anything less?"

Now there are so many in my life who have directed me to the Life that I live, now. May we continue to build each other up and continue to just point the way Him.....and find that He is closer than we think at times........may He continue His work in us and through us us ... :) and may He build His Body up through He has done thus far through the saints that I have been blessed with knowing, because of Him.

Sorry .....feeling reflective today. Love you all....

Through His Eyes

The message that spoke so voluminously to me today...brought me to the place of tears and brokenness was about how we look at others....and how we look at ourselves.

You can no longer look with your eyes at those people (you know...those that have hurt, abused, caused the pain that just doesn't go away it seems.....those people....we all have them....don't even tell me you don't) or you can no longer look with your eyes at yourself (you know.... the ugly, dark and hidden you that is not quite morphed into what your true identity of who you are in Christ would lead you to be).

It is a working of God because of Christ in us, when this becomes real. Our humanness makes us think the worst. ....when someone, or a bunch of someones have done things to you or others that you see so clearly to be hurtful, hateful, evil, against all the things you see as good and true, and God looks at them through your eyes and sees them in the light of Himself, believer or unbeliever and when you have done something so clearly hurtful, hateful, evil against yourself or others...and it is an action that you have not been able to look at without shame, regret, guilt (you know the drill).... and you see what God sees when He looks at you.....oh my....what a revelation that is.

If you have an intimate relationship with Jesus, you speak of having His love ....and you believe it, and you have the Spirit of the Holy God living inside you ....the very Jesus Christ living in and through you, but oh man......when the eyes of Jesus shine from the inside of you just know that it has no way or part of anything to do with you! Because if it did .... there would be hurt and anger and rage and unforgiveness ...... has this hit a too....not quite there ..... I hear you.....but when you get a glimpse of what this is I had today, when He does the seeing and He will, as you allow.....there is freedom in that....looking at others and yourself....never, never was like this..... :)

Trust me....better yet, trust Him......You will never see things the same .....because He is your Eyes....your Heart....your Life.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The Big Adventure.....

My daughters had a wild summer....thanks to John and Danielle....I have some of the moments of Katie's summer in pictures.
First is the trip to Niagara Falls....quite daring! The next is the New York moment....such a sport she is! Finally her dropping in at the Saugine for some VBS....she is the adventurer of the family!

Laughing and loving it!

Wednesday, September 13, 2006 more to DO!

"Think of the worst sin you have ever committed. Do you have it in mind? Do you remember the specifics of the sin - what you were thinking and how you were feeling when you committed it? Now think of Jesus Christ hanging on the cross. His brow, feet, and hands pierced and bleeding. His head hangs in agony. You are standing at the foot of the cross when He lifts His head and looks you directly in the eyes. He looks deeply into your eyes, and you into His. You feel the love emanating from His gaze, then He speaks: "I love you, my child. I know about your worst sin. I know every detail. I know about all your sins. That's why I'm here. I forgive you. I forgive you; now forgive yourself and let's forget this sin and agree to never mention it again."

If it were possible for a moment to move beyond the restraints of this dimension we call time and see the cross from the eternal perspective, that is what we would hear Jesus say. All is well. Your sins are forgiven forever. Now, answer this question: Does that realization cause you to want to go out and sin, or does it cause you to want to live a godly lifestyle because of your great love and appreciation for Jesus?"

From Grace Amazing by Steve McVey

image by

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Rebecca St. James

Me being the Church today.....

I, I sit in silence here
I'm filled with wonder once again
I'm overwhelmed by Your beautiful love
Now I, I'm falling to my knees,
so grateful for the grace You give
The love I need I've found in you

Lest I forget
All of Your goodness
The blood You have shed
The cross I now remember
Lest I forget

Lord, You wept tears of blood for me
You hung in agony so deep
Carried my sin away for good
Now I, I take this bread and wine
Remembering Your love divine
You walked through fire to free my soul

Lest I forget
All of your goodness
The blood you have shed
The cross I now remember
Lest I forget

Lest I forget
All of your goodness
The blood you have shed
The cross I now remember
Lest I

Lest I forget
All of your goodness
The blood you have shed
The cross I now remember
Lest I forget

Lest I forget
Lord, You, wept tears of blood for me
Carried my sin away for good
Walked through the fire to free my soul
I sit in silence here
The cross I now remember
Lest I forget

Saturday, September 09, 2006



Gentleness is His strength through me in control?

Being genuine is being immersed in the Person of Jesus Christ?

"The true spirit of charity is never to judge rashly, never to interpret the actions of others in an ill-sense, but to be compassionate in their infirmities, bear their burdens, excuse their weaknesses and make up for their defects - to hate their imperfections, but to love themselves." Nicolas Caussin

This quote is and of this even possible? I have to think not.....only Christ in me could be so charitable?

Friday, September 08, 2006

The Unloved Lover

by Madame Guyon

My heart is easy, and my burden light;
I smile, though sad, when God is in my sight.
The more my woes in secret I deplore,
I taste thy goodness, and I love thee more.

There, while a solemn stillness reigns around,
Faith, love, and hope, within my soul abound;
And while the world suppose me lost in care,
The joys of angels unperceived I share.

Thy creatures wrong thee, O thou Sovereign Good!
Thou art not loved, because not understood,
This grieves me most, that vain pursuits beguile
Ungrateful men, regardless of thy smile.

Frail beauty and false honor are adored;
While Thee they scorn, and trifle with thy word;
Pass, unconcern'd, a Savior's sorrows by,
And hunt their ruin with a zeal to die.

Jeanne Guyon's earliest poem known was written when she was nineteen.....nineteen! Imprisoned and banished....she knew the Savior intimately throughout the circumstances of her life.....and her poems are a reflection of her relationship with Him throughout her life. She is a woman who I admire and yet it is Christ who lived His life through her so completely as she abandoned her self and her cares to Him. What a joy and a passion she has for Him. It sustained her and she was truly a woman with a remarkable and wondrous God in her.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

In the

From my on-line quotes .... I thought this to be very cool today...especially!

"Ordinary human motives will appeal in vain to the ears which have heard the tones of the heavenly music; and all the pomp of life will show poor and tawdry to the sight that has gazed on the vision of the great white throne and the crystal sea."

Alexander Maclaren

For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.

1 Corinthians 4:20

The Revised Standard Version

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

More on "Ruthless Trust"

Writing on the chapter, 'The Way of Gratefulness'...Manning states...

To be grateful for an unanswered prayer, to give thanks in a state of interior desolation, to trust in the love of God in the face of the marvels, cruel circumstances, obscenities, and commonplaces of life is to whisper a doxology in darkness.

I have been told that God always answers prayers....either yes, no or wait....I do believe that ....and yet sometimes when our prayers seem unanswered....gratefulness would be a response that indicates trust....

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Ruthless Trust ... by Manning

Now, I just started a book....yes started...never finishing it seems, by Brennan older left abandoned at the must have been for me..... :) and it explains who and what the ragamuffins are in his eyes...I enjoyed reading the preface alone....

"The unsung assembly of saved sinners who are little in their own sight, conscious of their brokenness and powerlessness before God, and who cast themselves on His Mercy. Startled by the extravagant love of God, they do not require success, fame, wealth, or power to validate their worth. Their spirit transcends all distinctions between the powerful and the powerless, educated and illiterate, billionaires and bag ladies, high-tech geeks and low-tech nerds, males and females, the circus and the sanctuary."

He continues and I will let it be with this.... :) It reminds me of a discussion I had not so long ago...the ragamuffin would

"know that Jesus is comfortable with broken people who remember how to love.

Alert to the manipulations and machinations of pharisaical self-righteousness, ragamuffins refuse to surrender control of their lives to rules and regulations. They see that the stale religiosity of legalists, trapped in the fatal narcissism of spiritual perfectionism, obscures the face of the God of Jesus. They will not barter their souls for the false security of fear-filled pieties that cripple the human spirit. The motto on the New Hampshire license plate, 'Live free or die,' is the ragamuffin motto."

You have to love this man's way with words. It took me a few minutes to type out those words...but as I did ....there was gold and affirmation in them thar' words....for me anyway....

What are you looking for?

Today... what is it that you are looking for here? Something you can find by looking to Him? He is the master controller of this and that of things to do with the here and there. The more I search out Him....the more I find there is to search out. This is a life of no ending and He is caring for me as I cast all my cares on Him. I do not do everything right or to His Glory and Honour....He does things through me that I can take no credit for. I thank God for that today....that not all I do is pretty...that not all I say is pretty and that my thoughts are just that, my thoughts....I thank Him that He is living His life through me when I surrender the unrelenting urge to do it all myself and my way. I totally tried to control the way things went this week...forgetting that He can do it so much better than I ....perfectly, if you will. So somehow with His never failing faithfulness to me and mine....He has answered the prayers I prayed this week....not all of them the way I wanted....because of selfish ambition and desires...but He answered. My son is off to University again for his third the grace of God...and we have endured his four month stay with us....yet again.....with the favour of God being bestowed upon him (even though he doesn't totally recognize that quite yet), and the girls begin their third year of high school under His constant, watchful eye and I do thank Him for that. He has provided over and above what I could ever have imagined...oh is not of the material realm that I speak of.....He has allowed my kids and myself to see His so many things this summer and much of this is in the more difficult circumstances that we come face to face with on a daily basis....because He is the Calm in those circumstances, the Peace.....and the Hope .....for that day that we turn and continue forward because He and He alone has brought us I thank Him today....and although I am amazed when I read about the lives of others....who have such a supportive family around them they interact and pray together and live this life in Him out so seemingly unscathed by circumstances that I face....I remember that the uniqueness of myself....made in His image, and the uniqueness of each one of us and our particular situation has His purpose all inclusive in all the circumstances....and I stand....with His arms ever encircling this situation that He has graciously allowed me to be a part the vessel.....imperfect always until Glory....Him the controller of that I continue to groan and complain.....He smiles His comfort through me.....He is so able. I thank Him for the difficulties that I face....they lead me always to one place.....Him.