Once again

Ok, so He reminds me again. I am one that needs a lot of reminding. What I know is one thing. When am I going to learn to lay the feelings down. I find myself continuing to say ..."I know you are God, and I know You alone are going to work our Your purpose in me BUT....I am so frustrated and impatient and disheartened." I have so many big questions. The whys and the hows in situations and circumstances. I truly am getting sick of myself....the anger, the bitterness, the cynicism, the fear...the death....not very pretty fruit....at all. I just can't understand that in Job's case that God can just create a second family and everything's all better....I can't understand that Joseph can spend years and years and years waiting out faithfully God's purpose in all that yucky stuff.....I find myself faltering after what.....say 5 years back in this journey and I am losing confidence in His planning ....But I am reminded....AGAIN... to not lose hope. Check out the blog on walkingchurch this morning. Did you happen to catch Charles Stanley this morning...I did for 10 minutes... that was enough....God speaks at the time and place we need it to bring us back into the encircling arms of His great love and plan for our lives. He needs to keep a heavy hand on me...I need it...I need to continue on realizing that He is my hiding place...that there is preservation in the trouble in that place...that there is that peace....the waters rise around me but He assures me that they will not overcome me. His eye is upon me...I will be instructed as I wait.....to hear....His teaching comes as it comes in His time, not mine. Others speak His desire and plan to me because He can do this...He can make me wait, and make me come to a complete understanding...but not today, maybe.... I am His, a mess in the process as Frank quotes all the time. Like this blog....big spaces....I have done something...messed it up...I cannot understand where these empty spaces are coming from....like the spaces inside me that are in need of filling up....and I in my own strength....nope, it isn't going to happen....I need the guidance of One far more capable...to be my strength....to fill the spaces .... He is here and waiting for me, ahead of me....knowing just what I need and loving me to that place, where He knows that if I listen to the instruction, if I stay with Him through the places of difficulty that He knows all about and knows how my heart aches for a resolve.....He will bring me to that place, that purpose, that plan and I shall look back astonished and amazed.....it has been made even better and I am on my face, overwhelmed by His glory and how He has brought to completion His plan and purpose by using me as again that broken vessel and how beautiful His glory shines through those cracks in just that.