So here is the thing....

So I have been....like you all have been probably....making plans for Christmas and getting it all together, even though it isn't my birthday or anyone in my family's birthday...buying the gifts and sharing the wealth ....etc....etc....running around and yet still 'trying' to maintain a focus of some kind on what this crazy time of year is really about....and that can be almost impossible....and I work in a Christian bookstore....go figure that one out. Any whoo.....I digress, yet again..... I get two whammies this week and they are totally different in scope and yet if you bear with me.....let me bring it together and into some understanding.... :) So I have seen the doctor....for a routine kind of a thing....He lays big news on me that I must treat this earthsuit a little better.....enough said.... Now this is an answer to prayer....yep, I dared to pray the prayer that He must do a work in me ....cuz I can't do this in my own strength and I most definitely knew I needed to do something ....now, look where I sit....with a definite change of lifestyle ....going to be imposed upon me....and that, my friends....hard as that is to believe is a real gift....an obvious answer to prayer. It took me a few days to see it as such but ...yep....watch what you pray for. But how cool is that. It also means I am probably nearer to actually seeing Jesus than I might have thought.....but I am ok with this as well... :) So bottom line, God is good and He is right there, in control. Secondly, I got a message off my phone yesterday......a very loooong message, from a woman in the study group.....without getting too up in the clouds and breaching any confidences....she basically told me that she had seen Jesus.....now ....you might start wondering..... what's up with that....but, listen up....she saw Him in me..... now .... I am not tooting anything....I was astonished and a little put off by her words....cuz there were a few more words than that.....it blew me away....she affirmed what I have come to know...and what I am trying to appropriate more every day and that is that He is truly and actually living in me and through me .....as me! That is what is so astounding to me.... Jesus is actually shining through this tarnished and so imperfect tent...and even though it is falling apart ....and wearing at the seams.....and in need of an over-haul...He is still within.....and showing Himself....despite me. He blows me away.....every day! It is because of Him .......and only because of Him......in and of myself.....forget it .