Friday, April 07, 2006


I find myself withdrawing in relationships. Is it easier for me? Not having to deal with those difficult people or those truly caring people who may get a little too close (which of course then that means I have to be vulnerable, take a risk, maybe get hurt, again). Is it possible to live in Christ with the possibility of rejection looming large in my self-thought? God is doing a work in me on forgiveness and humility. Rejection in the Church usually involves those people that God would most want me to speak to or would want them to speak to me. Believer or not. He is working on me, through me to be more accepting of others, all others, even the ones whose outward appearance is unappealing to me in my flesh, or unappealing in their thoughts. People whose ideas differ from mine. Whose beliefs differ from mine. Interesting. Jesus would speak to everyone, pretty much from the palace owner to the palace whore. They didn't always agree with Him. He could read them easily as the God-man. He still spoke. Polite religious church faces abound. I can only allow Him to speak through me. I can only accept that He ordains my steps as I look to and turn over every minute, every thought to Him. God places people in the Body as it serves His purpose. Keep an open mind, open heart and open arms at all times. Usually what I find is that someone who is totally opposite me is put in front of me all the time? Someone who rubs me the wrong way. God has a sense of humour. When am I going to stop getting caught up in personality clashes? He wants to show me Himself in these encounters. He is teaching me a spiritual lesson. Instead of rejecting people, I need to receive people as I am living in Him, and He is living in me. When I realize it is Christ in me....and in you and you and you. Receiving one another in this manner. Look past seeing people on the outside and seeing Christ on the inside. He is there. Loving my neighbour as myself. It is not I that lives, it is Christ in me. That is the freeing power of an awesome God. Then, I need to start paying attention to the message of God through others to me. Sometimes I wonder, God is speaking to me through someone like that!? But they are....fill in the blank... gay? ugly? unspiritual? embarassing? immoral? All the judgement going on in my flesh, eh? Some Christians think they are always right all the time. God doesn't care if I am right all the time. He is only concerned about me being in a right relationship with Him. I am not to be about rejecting others, or ignoring, or shunning, or judging. We all have a deep need to be loved and accepted, but it doesn't matter if anybody on this earth accepts or loves me. God is taking me to a place to really show me this. He does! God is enough. Jesus is enough. If the church doesn't meet a need, even a desperate one....He is showing me that He is enough. God, may we be Your Body as You would have us be. May He be the center of my life. He will give freedom in this thing and the thing after this as I trust Him and focus on Him. I want Him to be able to live through me, as me, despite my erroneous thinking on things. He is drawing me into Himself, more every day. He is always right here! Thank You, Jesus. It is all about You.

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